For you...

Remember this?

When you told me for the first time, you felt the gap between us..

The phrase run through my mind all the time..

reminding me the importance of transparency....

yet..

forgive me for being such a coward.


You told me, "You're never alone"
yet..
forgive me for being hardly reachable.


Sometimes, I felt so hardly to breath
as though you had taken away the air...
yet..
YOU are my oxygen supply.


It's never easy..
and 
There's no absolute promise.


The future is unpredictable..
and their thought are unreachable..
but
only the effort is visible.


Sometimes,
I felt so guilty..
as though I caused all these trouble.
as though I shall give up..


But the greed is so dominant,
that I need you by my side.


Will you wait,
will you stay?


I wish you would..
not only for now.. but for now and ever..
Am I asking too much?


Is your thought same as mine?


I wish everything can be simple and easy..
I wish I can preserve the sweetness...


as time pass...
will all these change?


If I said, 
'I don't mind.. I don't care..'
Can I ignore everything and hypnose myself?


It's a long journey...
which require faith, energy and believe....


Right now..
at this moment,
what I need is your courage..
Your confidence...
Stand up for us.. will you?


The joy and laughter you gave to me,
I appreciate..
The happiness you share with me,
I stored it up..


and now...
YOU = Mr. Smiley


You changed my life in a good way..
and the closed heart chamber??
It's now open to you..
Can you see?


If the footprints on the beach is solely,
will you join and make it a pair?


Thanks..
even if it's just passing by..
or even if it's momentary..
or even if it's not meant to be
I appreciate the colour you gave to my life.


Holiday arh.. Mr. Holiday..
I need you to be memorable lar...

It actually hurts a lot..

LOTS..

Too much to be handle

Whee~~

Hmm~~

Realised that...

all my previous post were about exam..

hahaha..

Sorry to cause this tension+craziness environment..

LOL...

My exam was...

well...

If you have a super photographic memory,

you can score like crazy but never perfect!

Reason:

Our SAQ paper even asked us about water sewage treatment..

=.="

hahaha.. and list how to give a healthy environment..

LOL..

All the future doctors from IMU, they ARE MULTITASK.. ahah

If you study like everyday and memorize like half gila,

you can get AT LEAST C for this exam..

hahaha..

Reason:

We have all the pharmacology question in SAQ or OBA

which shot out the name that I've never heard before

and yeah...

They expect us to know everything

LIKE EVERY SINGLE THING!!!

If you're like Candy.. she always last minute study..

and don't have super great memories..

PRAY HARD TO PASS wei!!!!

Reason:

This exam consist of 3 papers.

2 are SAQ means short answer questions 

and 1 is OBA means One Best Answer.

Both SAQ consists of 24 questions with 10 marks each

One of them is called OSPE, which is like a station answering question..

Like when the bell ring, all the 200++ students get up 

and switch to next seat every 5 minutes..

Haha.. crazy huh?

Like playing games.. =.="

and OBA has 60 questions which ask super specific and in details..

so, yeah...

PRAY HARD~~~

Anyway..

I had some nervous break down after the first SAQ paper..

but yeah.. I managed to put myself together for second day..

All I can say is..

"I really really tried my best"

that's all..

Let it be and I'm so so glad to finish..

Like wahh.. I survived through this EOS!!!

(End of Semester Exam)

After exam, have to drag myself out..

was like so so so sleepy + tired..

and finally able to find my appetite back after few days..

My health is so seriously degenerate..

plus I drink coffee to boost my focus and anything possible..

haha.. Like crazy huh?

eventhough I dislike caffeine smell

Salute to the IMU graduates!!

they survived through this stress-max-exam!! hahaha..

Can celebrate if pass.. hahaha

And my lecturer memang memang rocks lar~~

He went out with us to midvalley after exam..

Talk to us bout everything..

Every single thing..

he play drum in our uni band..

and he has a very dramatic love story..

with a wide experience of travelling..

wearing a "Self Taught Doctor" T-shirt.. lol

He's the very very friendly lecturer I ever met!!

haha.. 

Oh my god!!

I think I'm going crazy soon~~

STRESS la wei!!!

hardly breathe~~

Tomorrow exam..

12 more hours to go and

I'm not ready yet!!!!!!

Pass pass pass..

Pls pls pls.. pass

I miss you!!

I miss you!!

I miss you!!

I miss you!!

I miss you!!

I miss you!!

I miss you!!

I miss you!!

I miss you!!

I miss you!!

I miss you!!

I miss you!!

I miss you!!

I miss you!!

I miss you!!

I miss you!!

I miss you!!

I miss you!!

I miss you!!

I miss you la wei!!!!

Miss home like crazy!!

study study study~~

Wah lao.. I seriously need a meal at Segamat..

I want eat at Restaurant with family..

want eat freshly cooked fish..

I want eat just-cooked dishes!!!!!

mau makan banyak banyak banyak banyak!!!!!!!!

Candy's meal during study week:

Chap fan

Bread

Biscuits..
and lots lots lots lots lots of  medical books+notes

tak tahan dy lar...

I want some hot, just-cooked and nice food!!!!

>.<

I miss you~~~
2 more days to exam..
WOAHHHHHHH~~~
Scary like gilar..
pray pray..
MUST PASS wei...

Someone

I need a companion~~

Study weeks are seriously 

seriously~~

Meant to go back hometown study...if you can

T.T

What to do?

I need those plastic and picture model..

I miss my home dy~~

How much I wish Segamat is nearby!!!

I need someone..

to off the light when I 

accidentally asleep on bed.

I need someone..

to wake me when I

accidentally asleep on table..

I need someone..

to remind me when I

get on too stress and forgot to eat..

I need someone..

to company me when I

just can no longer go through..

I need someone

to tell me to rest when I

get overboard and strain myself to max..

I need someone..

to draw a smile for me when I

forgotten my smiley face..

I need someone..

to talk to me when I

study whole day.. way way too much!

I need someone..

to care about me when I

feel like going crazy any moment!

I need someone..

to bring me eat nice nice food when I

get so so hungry sometimes after study..

I need someone..

to teach and guide me when I

get lost in the stack of books!

I need someone..

to give me a hug when I

feel everything's so not okay..

I need someone..

to put me in track of time when I

just get so lazy to study..

I need someone..

to care, love and protect me..

when I'm alone~~

I miss you..

Yeah.. you.. you know who you are~~

Go home or don't?!
Staying here = living in emptiness
EXAM causes all these!!!!

是你吗？

曾经。。。

我是那么的一个人。

曾经。。。

我是那么习惯孤单。

曾经。。。

我是那么的空心。

现在的我，

有了个陪伴。

现在的我，

再也不想一个人。

现在的我，

有了陪伴在心里。

有时候，

真的好想好想把你锁上。

有时候，

真的很想很想大声地说“你是我的！”

有时候，

真的很想很想大声的宣布 “我真的很喜欢你！”

怎么了？

难道，是你改变了我？

怎么了？

难道，是你让我中了情毒？

怎么了？

难道，是你把我的空气都拿走了吗？

再那么多复杂的想法，

一旦看见你。。

看着你，一切都变得简单。

心，也会不停的跳。。

眼睛，也会不听话了。。

真的好想好想你。。

想你。。

想念你的笑声，

想念你那温暖的拥抱，

想念你那温柔的嘴唇。

为了相见。。

什么都变得容易。

为了不让你辛苦。。。

什么都变得可以。

你。。就一个你。。

还真的有很大的差别！！

我那可爱的书，我该怎么说呢？

你还真的让我不像我了。。

A doctor I met

How hard is it for you?

How do you feel?

Are you okay?

That're the phrase 

I wish I could tell him...

I realised how short life is..

I am always aware the fragility of life...

It can all ended as tragedy..

or changed the story line, make it a fairy tale..

He's a young doctor..

in a way.. he's young at heart.

Look at him, he smiled..

Look at him, he care...

A doctor with 3 postgraduate,

with an age of nearly 65..

He could be old..

yet.. he's awesome!

I am a medical student..

Yeah, I am..

 (There it goes..)

A conversation started..

a heart to heart talk..

Doctor should be a good listener..

but sometimes, doctor also need a listener.

How sad is his story?

How tragedic is that?

How can he smiled and said?

He's my inspiration for now..

His quote:

"Secret to stay young are:

stay happy...

let yesterday remain there..

and smile.."

When I first listened,

it's just a typical phrase...

A phrase even you understand..

but do you apply?

Do you do?

He told his story...

His son, when he asked our age..

Doc: "He's about your age.. older.. about 23. Taking medicine in Manipal"

He smiled when he said..

He's proud.. He's happy for his son...

I smiled to his story..

till..

Doc: "He's at his forth year.. but he passed away in an accident"

while showing his son's pic inside his purse..

It torn my heart..

looking at him....

At that sudden, he's not that young doc..

but a father who need hug..

The way he took off his spec..

God~~ he need a hug!

he smiled to us..

as though we gave him a comfort..

How can this happen?

Look at him..

He's so kind hearted..

Life's short people..

appreciate what's in front.

Cause you.. and I..

We, we will never know what happen next second.

I really wanna give him hug..

and whisper 

‘He's so proud to have you as dad, too"

Summative~~~

It's Sem 2 ah.. Sem 2..

I have all these..

Microbiology..

Parasitology..

Antimicrobial..

Immunology..

Pathology..

Pharmacology...

and Community Medicine...

T.T

I have seriously no idea how to memorize everything..

No idea how am I gonna survive..

TOMORROW!!

Summative tomorrow...

Mummy.... I dunno how to study la...

And that MOFA (exercise) from my elearning

is seriously scared me off...

Dah la.. I can't finish everything..

Now, I don't even know I got study or not..

Cham.. apa macam?

Candy's going crazy soon...

I want pass Sem 2..

Just pass for this Sem 2..

Pass pass pass!!

EOS not even arrived yet..

Tomorrow just 50 OBA..

I dunno how am I gonna survive

this coming 2 weeks...

Dead~~

I.M.Y

There's a phrase in my heart...

There's a voice in my head..

So clear..

so loud...

Telling me...

Letting me know...

The feeling is so strong..

that it occupied the entire brain...

as though it's taking my oxygen supply away..

I closed my eyes...

A smile drawn on my face

when the memories refresh back..

Like a photo slides..

with 3D effects so real...

as though I could no longer differentiate dream and truth.

How can this happen?

It felt so so miracle..

A bond that occurred without invitation..

A thought that triggered without intuition...

A feeling that developed without announcement...

The scary part is?

It's everywhere..!!

Look around..

Turn around..

Close my eyes..

Open and focus my eyes..

yet.. It's there..

and it seems like everything's connected!

Like a sparkle..

A fire that spark at the instinct...

and makes everything crystal clear...

I am blessed..

and 

I am glad....

yet..

I still need to sit down calmly..

and study

while everything inside

are exploding any moment!!

How could I resist that?  

Randomness

Anonymous : Candy candy.. Study study..

Candy: Kk.. Study.. Studying... Concentrating..

**5 minutes passed**

Candy: Aah.. I can't even focus!!!

Haha..

How?

Not need study la.. 

Wanna "have a life"!

Wonderful day..

I "learnt up to max!"

The Sweetness~~~

I used to have thousand words..

to share here..

I used to have thousand words..

to describe my day..

But,

Today... 09/10/2010

I can't find any words to fit in..

other than.. "Sweet dao..."

Even Candy can't stand the sweetness lor...

Am I dreaming?!

How much I appreciate all these...

How much I smiled for these...

How much it takes...

I can't describe...

Just can't....

Here's for today.. ^^

Sweet~~~

Hospital Visit

B-O-R-I-N-G!

Hehe..

I had my hospital to Port Dickson government hospital..

Wah lao..

Super sienz de la!

First time, first time ever I felt bored to stay at hospital.

Even my hospital attachment a Segamat is nicer..

Very very small hospital.

Started journey at 7am

and back by 4.30pm..

Super long.. haha..

Other than walking here and there..

Standing and listening..

I just find a place and sit down with my friend..

haha.. curi tulang

She's from US de..

Kesian her.. cause she don't understand Malay..

I am a good translator lea..

LOL..

I wonder how my housemanship gonna be..

Pengsan straight away for

running, standing, walking whole day!

Hz.. That's why I joined training in Milers..

haha..

That's all lo..

See.. there's even nothing to post over here..

Oh ya!

I saw a newborn baby...

He arrived today at 6.45am..

Cute la..  like so so small oni..

When you look at the way he cuddle in his mum's arm,

all the expression is "Awh...."

What a big difference compare to now.. haha

THE END.. LOL..

Sad part:

Early morning dah give my friend a morning call..

Yet.. she still late and missed the bus..

so, she called back and asked me to sign her attendance

We used to do this for minor classes... Hz..

She used to be the one who came late..

or else.. the one who asked me to sign..

Mana tau..

I got caught for signing her attendance..

hehe..

When the matron (Head nurse) called her name,

Her name is the first one lagi.. memang cham!

I admit that I signed lo..

I gave excuses that I signed wrongly..

haha..

It came out of nowhere..

That nurse pun tau tau de la..

She just said, "Sign wrongly very dangerous la.."

The other future doc in my group pun tau tau de la..

Still, they asked lagi..

Eish.. So pai seh de..

I am--- the girl who sign for her friend..

LOL..

Nvm nvm la..

got comforted de.. better jor..

or not... whole day surely very down...

:/

Sigh...